Memories

Do you remember things which you have forgotten, though not totally, when u were a kid ? Those little guilty desires and unreasonable convictions.
One such things, a inheritance from my father, i had this weird funny uncommon habit of underlining the place while writting the address on a letter/postcard/envelope ( yes i was an avid postcard writer back then :) ) twice or thrice,and sprinking an assortment of funny decorative characters to its either ends, left and right. A cross with dots on each of its corners. One such cross on either side. As if such divine characters gave the word an air of uncommon importance and divinity and instilled a sense of security/accuracy on the letter and pronounced its due success in reaching the place it is addressed to. It feels funny thinking of how common i thought it was and how weird it feels to think of it now. To test it, i just wrote it down on a piece of paper, trust me, i couldnt belive myself of doing it if it was not for my vivid memory of doing it !!. Not just me you know, even my bro used to do it ! :D well, I got rid of the cross thing later on, though, i still underline the place :D

This bizzare family ritual was not confined to the pale blue inland letters and postcards alone, but also on my note books. The perfectly poised letters of my father's adorned the front of all of my notebooks. These compensated for not having "labels", and often spilled a sense of confidence and bravery in me to stand up against my teacher's unreasonable tyranny to have labels on the books compulsorily along with the "brown only" cover sheet, probably thats where i began my journey of being a nonconformist. Thank god, me and my family were blessed with such logic by virtue of which i could never understand why a beautifully structured and tapered "information" listing ending with the "place underlined" (and decorated with the divine characters ;) )and the whole thing which often ran into some 5 6 sentences could not replace those (enviable ;0 ) "labels".These labels, if i can bear the guilt of liking and missing them on my notebooks at times, did feel cute and often sported cartoon characters, aeroplanes, cars, the variety and aesthetics of which depended on how deep your parent's pockets were. Some even sported my favorite cartoon character of those times , 'Mougli' from Jungle Book. i still remember, how sometimes unable to stand up to the logical world i was born in, i gave in to the guilt of wanting to have those labels on my notebooks :D We, me and my bros( for my sake), used to collect the labels which were at times published in the newpapers, perhaps for kids like me, to satisfy my own guilty desire and to pander to the silly whims of such rare teacher, who often could be spotted in most schools.

holi:
The very first memories of everything i did, when i was living them, strangely, it always felt as if it was not the first time n that i have already experienced it and knew of it. Like the very first holi i remember. I wasnt aware then that it was my first time, perhaps coz my brothers behaved as if it wasnt the first time and i accepted to it as a fact on the face. Perhaps kids dnt doubt things much, they just believe. I was in LKG then (4 years? ). (It has to be my first, the logic in me says :D)
I dunno if all of you remember not just things external, but also about things inside your head at that young age? the fears you had of homeworks and friends in kindergarten? The first time i realised i was singing? when i didnt know a song is lyrics and words and music, When all a song for me was "la la lala" ?

Funny, i still remember things like that. The time when my mom was surprised at my knowing a particular word and using it correctly! i even remember that i was offended that my mom was surprised at it and tired to explain to her my secret smartness ;) . I remember the word too, its some marathi word so u wont understand even if i put it here, the word is just a conjuction not used so often .

The last post was a bit too jumpy right? :) he he yeah, iam sometimes like that...

Bizarre

Sometimes iam quite surprised by the sheer bizarrness about things that intrigue me and which leave me unconventionally happy at the existance of such uncommon perceptions about things arround. Like for instance, how many of you have thought homosexuality as a nature's own idea for population control? Wait a minute, one might agrue that homosexuality existed even before population explosion occurred. Ok, so shall we say, the publicity of its existance and openness in discussing about it is unprecedencted? So then can we further proceed to say, the exposure of this concept of homosexuality to this unprecedented levels is related to the increase in the number of homosexuals ? Or is it the changed social circumstances which empowered people to demand for more flexible social laws and values and distance oneself from diktats and doctrines stipulated from centuries old that has brought this topic to the foray?

In what ever way, can we say this as a new "nature evolution" to contain human expansion beyond sustainable numbers for its own successful existance in the universe? and similarly can we conclude that there is always a "nature" force deciding and thinking for us, innovating ways to save what ever exists by reinventing and "changing" the existing nature? Can we apply this same self protective "nature" incase of global warming and other such apocalyptic problems worrying the modern world? and imagine that it will be solved by "itself".

So what is this nature? The hackneyed "mother nature" which we are supposed to conserve ? Arent we a part of it? If so has not nature learnt to protect it given its existence is beyond any human existence in this universe? Iam not an opposer of global warming nor a supporter of alternative sexuality or a total right wing conservationist denying global warming, but somewhere somehow i feel, its supposed to be this way, that we too are part of this solution. ( if iam allowed to digress more :D , sounds similar to the notion that all past present and future are predestined and we are supposed to do what we are doing ) And its how we "evolve" and progress. Had it not been for global warming, we would never have tried to tighten up our technologies to be effective and efficient and hence thereby improve our "human existance". Extend this to the global level, universe level, we are part of the nature, and thus it is in the nature that we are supposed to respond to global warming and thus "evolve" and better ourselves as part of this force called, "Nature".

All that noise, and All that sound, All those places i got found!

Why do some songs always make me positive and so overwhelming? Pulling me out of however deep depths i drag myself into? :)
Speed of SOund - Coldplay
Its just not the lyrics. The passion in the music? and the voice?
Puts me intantly in love with the song and with myself everytime i listen to it. Not just this song, there is a list of them. The fact that they are not some drab lyrics typical of a bollywood song, but actual thoughts put in words( atleast as close as they can get to it). Feels as if they are directly talking to ur mind,not even you ...

Everytime it feels like it is a different song that iam listening to, a theme so personal to me and specific to the state of mind iam in at that time. A theme that iam so in need ...

Iam instantly drawn out of the whole location where ever iam, be it colleagues, office, work, time... nothing can hold me back.

The theme that i now see, fighting with my ownself to start to begin to explore to believe... yet unsure, frail .. a push ...then cringe..then start out ....then win .. then fly ...fly at the speed of the sound ... fly along that bird that has shown you how it all began, how its gonna be all smiple and easy ...

Chrismartin( the author of this song), could he have really meant all that? or is it only me ? Could anyone be so poetic? O:-) Can anyone talk so perfectly to someone so out of time, out of place, out of mind, and yet make them feel as if they know what exactly you feel like, and know what you are thinking?
Is it the music that is done before and later the song is woven into it? or is it the other way round, lyrics first and then music? I really wanna see them create, see them have these thoughts in their minds and then put it in words, may be then i will believe. he he no, i still believe.

How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
.
.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.
.
.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah when you see it then you'll understand?

Everyone can have their own take on these lyrics i guess and solve that puzzle how ever they see fit.

Follow this link for the lyrics with minimal ad distractions : http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/coldplay/speedofsound.html

Again

Keeping up appearances
Keeping up with the Jones'
Fooling my selfish heart
Going through the motions
But I'm fooling myself
I'm fooling myself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again,
you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again

Everybody thinks you're well
Everybody thinks I'm ill
Watching me fall apart
Falling under your spell

But you're fooling yourself
You're fooling yourself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
And again and again and again and again

All alone went she ...

O Mary, go and call the cattle home
and call the cattle home,
Across the sands of Dee...
The western wind was wild and dank with foam,
and all alone went she.

The western tide crept up along the sand
and over and over the sand,
and round and round the sand,
As far as eye could see.
The rolling mist came down and hid the land;
And never home came she.

"Oh ! is it weed, or fish, or floating hair -
A tress of golden hair,
A drowned maiden's hair,
Above the nets at sea?
Was never a salmon yet that shone so fair
Among the stakes on Dee".

They rowed her in across the rolling foam,
The cruel crawling foam,
To her grave beside the sea.
But still the boatmen hear her call the cattle home
and call the cattle home across the sands of Dee...