Memories

Do you remember things which you have forgotten, though not totally, when u were a kid ? Those little guilty desires and unreasonable convictions.
One such things, a inheritance from my father, i had this weird funny uncommon habit of underlining the place while writting the address on a letter/postcard/envelope ( yes i was an avid postcard writer back then :) ) twice or thrice,and sprinking an assortment of funny decorative characters to its either ends, left and right. A cross with dots on each of its corners. One such cross on either side. As if such divine characters gave the word an air of uncommon importance and divinity and instilled a sense of security/accuracy on the letter and pronounced its due success in reaching the place it is addressed to. It feels funny thinking of how common i thought it was and how weird it feels to think of it now. To test it, i just wrote it down on a piece of paper, trust me, i couldnt belive myself of doing it if it was not for my vivid memory of doing it !!. Not just me you know, even my bro used to do it ! :D well, I got rid of the cross thing later on, though, i still underline the place :D

This bizzare family ritual was not confined to the pale blue inland letters and postcards alone, but also on my note books. The perfectly poised letters of my father's adorned the front of all of my notebooks. These compensated for not having "labels", and often spilled a sense of confidence and bravery in me to stand up against my teacher's unreasonable tyranny to have labels on the books compulsorily along with the "brown only" cover sheet, probably thats where i began my journey of being a nonconformist. Thank god, me and my family were blessed with such logic by virtue of which i could never understand why a beautifully structured and tapered "information" listing ending with the "place underlined" (and decorated with the divine characters ;) )and the whole thing which often ran into some 5 6 sentences could not replace those (enviable ;0 ) "labels".These labels, if i can bear the guilt of liking and missing them on my notebooks at times, did feel cute and often sported cartoon characters, aeroplanes, cars, the variety and aesthetics of which depended on how deep your parent's pockets were. Some even sported my favorite cartoon character of those times , 'Mougli' from Jungle Book. i still remember, how sometimes unable to stand up to the logical world i was born in, i gave in to the guilt of wanting to have those labels on my notebooks :D We, me and my bros( for my sake), used to collect the labels which were at times published in the newpapers, perhaps for kids like me, to satisfy my own guilty desire and to pander to the silly whims of such rare teacher, who often could be spotted in most schools.

holi:
The very first memories of everything i did, when i was living them, strangely, it always felt as if it was not the first time n that i have already experienced it and knew of it. Like the very first holi i remember. I wasnt aware then that it was my first time, perhaps coz my brothers behaved as if it wasnt the first time and i accepted to it as a fact on the face. Perhaps kids dnt doubt things much, they just believe. I was in LKG then (4 years? ). (It has to be my first, the logic in me says :D)
I dunno if all of you remember not just things external, but also about things inside your head at that young age? the fears you had of homeworks and friends in kindergarten? The first time i realised i was singing? when i didnt know a song is lyrics and words and music, When all a song for me was "la la lala" ?

Funny, i still remember things like that. The time when my mom was surprised at my knowing a particular word and using it correctly! i even remember that i was offended that my mom was surprised at it and tired to explain to her my secret smartness ;) . I remember the word too, its some marathi word so u wont understand even if i put it here, the word is just a conjuction not used so often .

The last post was a bit too jumpy right? :) he he yeah, iam sometimes like that...

Bizarre

Sometimes iam quite surprised by the sheer bizarrness about things that intrigue me and which leave me unconventionally happy at the existance of such uncommon perceptions about things arround. Like for instance, how many of you have thought homosexuality as a nature's own idea for population control? Wait a minute, one might agrue that homosexuality existed even before population explosion occurred. Ok, so shall we say, the publicity of its existance and openness in discussing about it is unprecedencted? So then can we further proceed to say, the exposure of this concept of homosexuality to this unprecedented levels is related to the increase in the number of homosexuals ? Or is it the changed social circumstances which empowered people to demand for more flexible social laws and values and distance oneself from diktats and doctrines stipulated from centuries old that has brought this topic to the foray?

In what ever way, can we say this as a new "nature evolution" to contain human expansion beyond sustainable numbers for its own successful existance in the universe? and similarly can we conclude that there is always a "nature" force deciding and thinking for us, innovating ways to save what ever exists by reinventing and "changing" the existing nature? Can we apply this same self protective "nature" incase of global warming and other such apocalyptic problems worrying the modern world? and imagine that it will be solved by "itself".

So what is this nature? The hackneyed "mother nature" which we are supposed to conserve ? Arent we a part of it? If so has not nature learnt to protect it given its existence is beyond any human existence in this universe? Iam not an opposer of global warming nor a supporter of alternative sexuality or a total right wing conservationist denying global warming, but somewhere somehow i feel, its supposed to be this way, that we too are part of this solution. ( if iam allowed to digress more :D , sounds similar to the notion that all past present and future are predestined and we are supposed to do what we are doing ) And its how we "evolve" and progress. Had it not been for global warming, we would never have tried to tighten up our technologies to be effective and efficient and hence thereby improve our "human existance". Extend this to the global level, universe level, we are part of the nature, and thus it is in the nature that we are supposed to respond to global warming and thus "evolve" and better ourselves as part of this force called, "Nature".