Iam having new questions in my head. What is "individuality"/ "self reliability"/ "Extent of mutual dependability" in human relationships . The amount of individuality needed for survival, self respect and equality among the sexes in a relationship ?
Modern working woman, is she there where she ought to be or is she still evolving? What does it take to share equal respect among the sexes despite the fact that world is unfair and biased ? How tightly bound are self respect and self reliance in such a skewed scenario such as ours in the current world and times? The assurance or self realization that she can survive on her own like men? What defines your Independability ?
This is a very insightful article about self reliance and relationships. http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2008/06/solo-lifers-why-successful-women-remain-single/
Take a housewife, should she on the basis that she is not self financed be eternally bonded to the 'earning' independent husband in a master-subject relationship, and submit to "earner heads the home"? The husband might not collapse immediately without his wife, but the wife certainly would, atleast in this skewed world, where the fairersex is almost always disadvantaged for a number of reasons, chances are she wont even last the night on her own without the husband, forget about striving to find a job to support herself. So then, earning money alone is not enough to wield power over the family, ability to keep self safe, secured and financed is. Only then can there be a demand to equal power, as you share no extra vulnerabilities than your male in the relationship and both can share power and co-exist . Well this is getting too confusing a track, the basic question is if i stop earning should i compromise my freedom and independence, is "independence" really possible in this society and there by "freedom" ? If i am a woman, i should compromise with the extent of freedom I can enjoy? Whether or not i am earning, i have to atleast rely on someone for my security, there are things a woman cannot do, like fight with someone for safety, or run to police for protection or walk alone in the night safely. Does it make the male a facilitator if he enables her to do things she cant on her own, like escort her and keep her safe? Should she be thankful to the "facilitator"? similarly should she be thankful to the 33% reservation? is it enough, if so, why can i not go on my own without risking my security? having availed the 33% and yet why do i find myself disadvantaged? can the gap be plugged by numbers such as these?
Like the last time, i wanted to attend a social function and my dad was not ready to drop me because it didnt amuse him. Only option i had was to hire a auto at the risk of my security. The risk is only because iam a female. where is my self reliability. Now is my dad a facilitator ? he was not willing to drive me, i was at his mercy and had no free choice in whether i should attend the function. How fair is it? What does equality stand for here , should my dad go an extra mile and ensure my security because society fails ? It offsets my inequality, my dads sacrifice of his choice to remain at home. Can men be arroganct about this "given" independence and refuse to help offset the inequality for the opposite sex ? Replace the function with any destination or place you want to be and cannot because the male person you depend upon doesnt agree for it.
You can see a detrioration in chivalry among men for women since women began to fight for their self reliance and freedom and individuality, the chivalry which was devised to offset the decreased freedom of living and power among the sexes for the 18th century woman. Doesnt chivalry sound archiac now, should it ? are we there yet to throw it away?
But unfairness is everywhere, in racism, in economy, everywhere. But why shouldnt my father, or for that matter any male in my life bother to offset the unfairness for me?? What is mutuality in a relationship then?? should it not also include getting the two parties to equal footing? making the unfairness void by going an extramile for another as a balancing act ? Isnt it understood? should the female in turn feel gratitude for the fairness that is insured by the opposite sex or should it be her right for being born a female and for the male a duty for being born a man?? where is the fairness then if its not given as my right and accepted as a duty towards me that they are obliged to as males and protectors ? Does it compromise my feminity and self respect? Should it, should I act as if it were so in a meek submission and gratitude?
Modern working woman, is she there where she ought to be or is she still evolving? What does it take to share equal respect among the sexes despite the fact that world is unfair and biased ? How tightly bound are self respect and self reliance in such a skewed scenario such as ours in the current world and times? The assurance or self realization that she can survive on her own like men? What defines your Independability ?
This is a very insightful article about self reliance and relationships. http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2008/06/solo-lifers-why-successful-women-remain-single/
Take a housewife, should she on the basis that she is not self financed be eternally bonded to the 'earning' independent husband in a master-subject relationship, and submit to "earner heads the home"? The husband might not collapse immediately without his wife, but the wife certainly would, atleast in this skewed world, where the fairersex is almost always disadvantaged for a number of reasons, chances are she wont even last the night on her own without the husband, forget about striving to find a job to support herself. So then, earning money alone is not enough to wield power over the family, ability to keep self safe, secured and financed is. Only then can there be a demand to equal power, as you share no extra vulnerabilities than your male in the relationship and both can share power and co-exist . Well this is getting too confusing a track, the basic question is if i stop earning should i compromise my freedom and independence, is "independence" really possible in this society and there by "freedom" ? If i am a woman, i should compromise with the extent of freedom I can enjoy? Whether or not i am earning, i have to atleast rely on someone for my security, there are things a woman cannot do, like fight with someone for safety, or run to police for protection or walk alone in the night safely. Does it make the male a facilitator if he enables her to do things she cant on her own, like escort her and keep her safe? Should she be thankful to the "facilitator"? similarly should she be thankful to the 33% reservation? is it enough, if so, why can i not go on my own without risking my security? having availed the 33% and yet why do i find myself disadvantaged? can the gap be plugged by numbers such as these?
Like the last time, i wanted to attend a social function and my dad was not ready to drop me because it didnt amuse him. Only option i had was to hire a auto at the risk of my security. The risk is only because iam a female. where is my self reliability. Now is my dad a facilitator ? he was not willing to drive me, i was at his mercy and had no free choice in whether i should attend the function. How fair is it? What does equality stand for here , should my dad go an extra mile and ensure my security because society fails ? It offsets my inequality, my dads sacrifice of his choice to remain at home. Can men be arroganct about this "given" independence and refuse to help offset the inequality for the opposite sex ? Replace the function with any destination or place you want to be and cannot because the male person you depend upon doesnt agree for it.
You can see a detrioration in chivalry among men for women since women began to fight for their self reliance and freedom and individuality, the chivalry which was devised to offset the decreased freedom of living and power among the sexes for the 18th century woman. Doesnt chivalry sound archiac now, should it ? are we there yet to throw it away?
But unfairness is everywhere, in racism, in economy, everywhere. But why shouldnt my father, or for that matter any male in my life bother to offset the unfairness for me?? What is mutuality in a relationship then?? should it not also include getting the two parties to equal footing? making the unfairness void by going an extramile for another as a balancing act ? Isnt it understood? should the female in turn feel gratitude for the fairness that is insured by the opposite sex or should it be her right for being born a female and for the male a duty for being born a man?? where is the fairness then if its not given as my right and accepted as a duty towards me that they are obliged to as males and protectors ? Does it compromise my feminity and self respect? Should it, should I act as if it were so in a meek submission and gratitude?
2 comments:
You have raised a lot of questions, have you found a solution or a way of action for bridging this gap in equality given the society today? Of course the easy answer is our society, as it stands today is not ideal. But the world is neither perfect nor ideal, that doesn't mean we stop looking for solutions. And how about any privileges or special treatment you get in the society for being a woman, do you complain then too or do you conveniently take it in your stride without giving it a second thought? Also any particular reason why you have been using "women" instead of "woman" throughout the blog or was it just a typo?
@T Thanks for reading through the post i thought impossible for anyone read throuh :D. it was incoherent and unfinished and obviously had many unbelievable mistakes, i was just rambling on incoherently in the spur of the moment, perhaps to capture thought and then revise later when i have time. thanks for your inputs, hopefully i have corrected the things you have pointed out.
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